🔒 INNER SANCTUM 🔒

AUTHORIZED MEMBERS OF THE FELLOWSHIP ONLY

Speak the Sacred Passphrase, as revealed to you at your third Potluck:

Hint: It's what kicks in at about 5,500 RPM, yo.

Welcome, Initiate. Jeremy would be proud.

★ Classified Announcements ★

Someone parked a Corolla in the Compound driveway. Whoever you are: we forgive you. But move it.
The Compound Wi-Fi password is now shouldvebought1.
Ascension Brownie thief has been identified. It was Brother Gary. He has apologized.
Rite of the Oil Change this Sunday at sunrise. Bring your own drain pan.
Fruit basket sent to Jeremy was returned, unopened, with a note: "who is this." We are choosing to interpret this as a test of faith.

★ Initiates Only: The Six Sigils ★

Brother Gary teaches that the mileage of the universe has been hidden in six sigils (⟁), each bearing a Roman numeral and a single digit. They are scattered across the Fellowship and beyond:

I — Hidden where only the curious look: beneath the surface of the Mothership. (View… something.)
II — In the commentary on the first day of creation.
III — Scratched into a document that belongs in a glovebox.
IV — The Static reveals it only to those who stay tuned for three times seven.
V — In the fine print of the heretics. (Yes. We know. Just go.)
VI — Shown only to those who hold the engine at the limiter and do not let go.

When you have all six, set the Odometer of the Universe. Brother Gary has never done it. He says he is “not ready.” He has been not ready since 2014.

★ The Secret Handshake ★

Make eye contact.
Mime turning a key in an ignition.
Say “You should’ve bought a Honda.”
Other person replies “These things run forever.”
Both rev an imaginary engine until the VTEC kicks in.

★ Compound Chore Wheel ★

Member	Chore
Brother Pilot	Still in the Costco parking lot. Someone please go get him.
Sister Odyssey	Waxing the Sacred Civic
Brother Prelude	Rewinding the VHS archive
Sister Element	Dishes (Potluck aftermath)
Brother Gary	Re-laminating the Jiffy Lube receipt